Random blurbs from me, Waylan.

Write about three realistic goals you would like to achieve in your lifetime.

     Goals are definitely the hardest thing for me. While, I've set plenty of them, I've never really obtained any of the ones that I've set for myself. Mainly goals that have been set for me, I have achieved.
     The biggest goal of mine in life, that I would like to achieve, is being mentally healthy. I've never really had a moment where I've felt like I've felt completely in control of my problems with anxiety and depression. I've dealt with them for pretty much my whole life. I've had moments talking to people about my past, where I've realized that I have had panic attacks as early as kindergarten. My level of nervousness has always been a little higher than what I feel it should be for a normal person. I know children can be dramatic, but there where times when I seriously felt like my world was ending, and that sense of panic for a child or 6-9 years old is just awful. I especially remember this moment in the 2nd grade, I believe. I was in Mrs. Hickman's math class, and Nurse Ford was giving us a discussion over the importance of taking care of our teeth, like brushing them everyday. I started to have a panic attack, and just put my head down and started crying quietly. I didn't know what else to do. Eventually she noticed, and the only thing I could think to describe my issue was to tell them I felt sick to my stomach, which was true, and that's usually how it manifested. So I went home with my grandma that day, and I felt much better once I was out of that situation, like most times with my panic attacks. So I'd absolutely like to eventually be in control of how I deal with my anxiety and depression, because the battle over the years has been the most annoying in my life. It controls me, more so, to be quite honest.
     A second goal I would love to achieve, that is realistic, is to be secure financially. I know it's possible, and honestly I'm not trying hard to make it happen, sadly. I use credit cards way too often. It sucks, because I know there are people in my situation that could be better off if they could get credit cards. Luckily I've had good credit before and qualify for decent limits, and spend enough to keep my accounts open. That could also be the argument for the bad side. Easy access to money that you technically don't have, is dangerous, I mean, look at our own government! Ha!
     The third realistic goal I would set for myself to reach in my lifetime, is to learn to love myself, so I can love someone else, "Can I get an amen up in here?!"

Waylan Bolin