I wish I had paid more attention when my grandfather was alive. It's always been hard for me to be super close to anyone. Especially because up until now, I never was my authentic self. I always felt like I was supposed to pretend, or be what other people wanted me to be. I spent lots of summers with my grandfather, and while we did have some pretty good times together, and I guess I did learn some good things from him, I wish I had learned more. Granted, I was younger than I am now, obviously, so most of the time I wasn't thinking, 'What can I learn from this wise person?' It sucks that you have to get older before you realize that you need to pay more attention when you spend time with those older than you. I wish that people like my grandfather could still be here, so now that I can be myself and actually have a chance to pay more attention and better myself, that it would actually count. Of course, now I know and can learn from the past, but it still doesn't make it easy when remembering.