Name one thing that you have lied to yourself about. Why did you do this?
I'm sure I've lied to myself about a lot of things, like everyone else. I used to lie to myself that I was normal, whatever that means. I suppose I meant normal aka straight. There's this thing in your head where you know your different, but you can't accept it. You constantly have to censor yourself with every move or thing you say. Walking into a room, you kind of have to scope it out, and see if there are any uber-masculine bro types there...better tone down the femininity. It's so much fun. People will tell me, I get what you're talking about...and I can agree to a certain degree, but some things you just can't know how it feels unless you are seen differently like that.
I was kinda brainwashed as a kid. The church does that to you. Of course, most of the time your parents don't know any different, because that's just been the way it always was. You don't talk about such things, and you just pretend it's okay, and the Lord will fix it. Trust me, I pray as much as the next person, well, not quite as much as I should, but I know from praying every night to be something I'm not, that I'm just how I'm supposed to be...and so is everyone else. It took myself a long time to accept that I'm just as normal as anyone else. There are those days where I think I'm a little better, and sometimes a little worse, but that's life. I just hope that we can get to a point someday where kids can just not have to be so stressed at such a young age about who they are, whether it's for being gay, or being a different color, or a different size...you get the idea. Here's to praying...but maybe do a little more than that..for me.