Random blurbs from me, Waylan.

Write about something presently in your life that is "worth it."

     Okay, so maybe I have some issues currently. I literally laughed out loud when I read this latest prompt. I just am in such an awkward place right now. I'm constantly battling this nasty depression. So I guess I'm just pretty negative. 
     I've just been back and forth. Usually once I wake up, I can get going, and be fine most of the day. Occasionally I still have these random down moments during the day.
     So, what is worth it? I mean, my job is worth it. I'm so lucky to have a family that watches out for me when I'm having a crap time. I've always had them to fall back on, which is a good thing. I just really need to get over this funk, so I can find a career, not just a job. Things are getting harder and harder. Luckily, I have to go see my doctor before the month is up, to get my prescription so renewed. I just get so terrified of having side effects again. I forget that my mental health is a lifelong thing. It's just that when you have the good times, you tend to forget that it's probably going to get bad again.
     Well, now that I got all that out of the way, I guess I should consider all the other things I see as "worth it." My family is important to me. I hate it right now, because we're at the worst we've been in a long time, as what we consider to be a 'good family.' Everything is just so awkward. We're all torn apart in our own places, and our relationships are so different than they used to be. This last Christmas was one of the hardest for me. We didn't really have a 'real' Christmas. I know that's not saying much, and what we had was special enough, but it's just not the same. I honestly didn't mind it, but I know it hurts my mom. Her idea is that we always need to be together. I've tried to explain to her that it doesn't mean anything less of us, but she just doesn't usually quite understand that, or try to, I think.
     I honestly need something more to be worth it. This writing is helping, I think. It gives me something to look forward to, when I can actually remember to keep up with it, that is. I used to love to write and take photos. Maybe I should get back into photography, even though I know I would hate to work with people, like I used to. It made me so nervous. I'd probably want to do scenery only, like landscapes, wildlife, or something that doesn't always involve interaction. My problem is usually just the follow through, because I guess I've never felt like what I was doing accomplished anything. 
     Well, I guess I should be proud, I did actually accomplish to write a longer post for once. That's something, right? Here's to making more things "worth it."

Waylan Bolin